Monday, April 03, 2006

Mope springs eternal

Opening day. I hear you want some prognosticatin'. Although I'm still reeling & disoriented from the NYT website redesign, I will oblige. Nothing all that bold here.

NL West: Padres. Both the Gigantes & Dodgers look overrated, even by those who predict 85 wins for them.
NL Central: Cardinals. Dusty Baker will whittle a scale replica of Hearst Castle in a maple bat during the season, and the Chicago sports talk shows will bury him for it.
NL East: Braves. Yawn. Drool. Urinate in trousers.
NL Wild Card: Philly. Man, I sure like that Abreu fella. Good thighs.
AL West: The Oakland Athletes. Love Milton Bradley. Love him.
AL Central: Twins. This should be a good division race.
AL East: Yankees. Johnny Damon will catch Larry Bowa crying in the locker room before BP. Neither man will ever speak of it.
AL Wild Card: Cleveland. Edgardo Alfonzo will ensure the Angels miss the playoffs.
Cham-peen: The Cards beat the Athletes.

Also: since the cool kids are doing it, and it seems like fun (& plus a transparent way to brandish one's musical tastes), here're the results of my ipod Ching. No cheatin', no deletin'. Kinda funny. I like "God's Cop" & "The Luckiest Guy etc".

How does the world see you?
God’s Cop—Happy Mondays
Will I have a happy life?
Dream Baby—Beatles
What do my friends really think of me?
I Believe I’ll Dust My Broom—Robert Johnson
Do people secretly lust after me?
Kennel District-- Pavement
How can I make myself happy?
Funky DJ—Fried Chicken
What should I do with my life?
Air Mail Special (Good Enough To Keep)—Charlie Christian
Will I ever have children?
The James Bond Theme—Monty Norman
What is some good advice for me?
Closer—Lemon Jelly
How will I be remembered?
You’ve Changed—Joni Mitchell
What is my signature dancing song?
In 3’s—The Beastie Boys
What do I think my current theme song is?
Hummingbird-- Wilco
What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
Rock Island Line—Sonny Terry & Brownie McGee
What song will play at my funeral?
The Luckiest Guy on the Lower East Side—Magnetic Fields
What type of women do you like?
I Was Made to Love Magic—Nick Drake
What is my day going to be like?
Peggy Sue—Buddy Holly