Most people have the same basic quantity of suavity, but distribute it differently. I tend to act like an awkward monkey most of the time, punctuated by flashes of absolute smoothness. Friday night, my friend & I got nice & drunk & stoned, and this friend threw a vase of flowers at me in the lobby of the Baltimore Days Inn, but I caught it without looking. Somehow, only one flower fell to the floor. The concierge was impressed. I'm still pretty impressed with myself.
Actually, this concierge was the coolest guy ever minted. We approached him with a long, rambling story about a borrowed car & a flat tire, and asked him where the car was. He said in a low voice and a European accent, "It's taken care of." I looked at him for a few seconds, then asked him, "Are you fucking with us?" He replied, without blinking, "Yes, I am." Then, a few seconds later: "I have no idea what you're talking about." Perhaps the hurled vase led him to take us less seriously than he otherwise might have.
This man looked like a paunchy Lenin.
