Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Melons on the brain

I have so much to say. My mind is fairly bursting with ideas, just as an overripe cantaloupe bursts with noxious gases. Why won't the world listen? I exaggerate, perhaps. Perhaps I have no ideas. Perhaps the beginning of summer in New York, what with its humidity, stink, & claustrophobia, has curdled my brains. Perhaps I am a louse who does nothing but eat burritos and shirk his responsibilities. Perhaps someday an angry mob will descend on Blogger headquarters and demand the removal of Corn Chips & Pie. Well, bring it on! Come, rabble! I welcome oblivion! Come!

  • I don't know that many babies. But I have an opinion about proper attire for babies: melon headgear. NT & JI's kid was wearing a honeydew helmet a few weeks ago, and it looked proper and right.
  • Have you ever eaten frozen watermelon? It's so fucking good. Also good is that trick where you jab a vodka bottle, upside-down, into the top of a watermelon.
  • Jason Kendall just hit a home run. It was his first in over 700 at-bats, and barely cleared the left-field wall. I cannot believe it. This is surely an omen of good things for the Athletics, who must currently be the worst team in baseball, having lost 2 of 3 to the Royals. Next sign of apocalypse: Jon Miller beats the crap out of Joe Morgan in the booth. Or, in keeping with today's theme, Joe Morgan wears a melon helmet for every game.
  • CC&P's 5-Second Architecture Review, Volume I: The Geisel Library (yes, named for that Geisel) at UCSD is a pretty cool-looking building. And, uh, lessee... did you know that you can buy a $300 melon in Tokyo? Well, you can.