Monday, May 08, 2006

Just a quick note

on Barry Lamar Bonds. And then never again.

The man is a walking penis. With an STD. A bit engorged, too, especially at the head. He is rude, arrogant, self-pitying, incapable of any perspective whatsoever. He cheated. He uses his son as a show-pony to attract sympathy. His voice is irritating. He is the Greatest Villain In Sports History, as near as I can figure it.

I love the man. Honestly. He hits baseball far, and wears Giants uniform.
I'd love him more if he provided care for Haitians with multi-drug-resistant TB, or if he endured a decade of imprisonment for his role in Tiananmen Square, or if he were shuffering and shmiling. Or even if he were a nice guy like Nick Swisher. But hey, this'll do. It's my harmless version of blind fealty to a religion or a nation-state. It's kind of fun. You should try it.