Where is your intensity?

Watching the playoffs this weekend allowed me to realize a lifelong dream: watching Jimmy Johnson's hair set to the O'Jays, a million fucking times, over and over, until I puked.

Don Cheadle reminded us that, in the playoffs, the regular season means nothing. Nothing. And that this is it, the big time, the giant important super thing that means very much, and that we should be appropriately sober and serious-minded. It kinda felt like he was lecturing me. He did so with the same urgent intensity that he used when begging genocidal Hutu militias to spare his family. Which is why we should trust actors.

Speaking of weird emotional equivalencies, I felt about the same pedestrian pleasure watching the Bucs lose to the Redskins that I do when I eat a breakfast sandwich without any cheese on it. You know, any team that lost to the 49ers has absolutely no business in the playoffs.